By the Hearing of Faith

One advantage to buying disposable diapers is that the empty boxes provide an endless supply of cardboard, which I use to make a letter of the day and a word of the day. Today’s letter was G, and the corresponding word was …

“DOG,” said our 30-pound art critic when I showed him what I believed to be some of my FINEST WORK.
(No, Dad. That looks like a dog. Try again ….)

(Excerpted from tonight’s tub-time conversation ….)
Dad: Okay, let’s get your hair wet.
Toddler: NO!
D: C’mon. I gotta put shampoo in your hair, buddy.
T: NO POO! DADDY USE SOAP!

Colorado has endured a population explosion of late, and now we’re experiencing it in a very personal way:

Smurfs have taken up residence in our back yard.

And I’m okay with it. As long as they respect our laws and pursue a legitimate path to citizenship through the ordained process of naturalization.

(I don’t much care for their music, though.)

Two of Audie’s favorite things are: 1) eating snacks, especially cheddar bunnies, and 2) kissing his little sister on the head.

And that explains why her hair is full of cheese dust, which I’m relieved to learn isn’t some strange dandruff ….

“It’s the crushing. It’s the organ harvesting of fetuses that abortion-rights activists want us to believe have no more moral value than a fingernail. It’s the lie that these are not human beings worthy of protection.”

https://usat.ly/2szKsZj

(Originally posted to Facebook on July 22, 2015 at 3:16 PM)

“… but if that be so, we can only say that folly appears to be a hereditary disease. But the truth is that nobody has any business to destroy a social institution until he has really seen it as an historical institution. If he knows how it arose, and what purposes it was supposed to serve, he may really be able to say that they were bad purposes, or that they have since become bad purposes, or that they are purposes which are no longer served. But if he simply stares at the thing as a senseless monstrosity that has somehow sprung up in his path, it is he and not the traditionalist who is suffering from an illusion.” G.K. Chesterton

http://bit.ly/2s0OafR

(Originally posted to Facebook on July 17, 2015 at 2:19 PM)

Sanctuary Cities but for babies that don't want to be sold off for parts.

— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahDispatch) July 15, 2015

(Originally posted to Facebook on July 15, 2015 at 2:15 PM)

“‘It’s about marriage equality,’ Collier told The Associated Press Wednesday. ‘You can’t have this without polygamy.'”

http://bit.ly/2t3TRKm

(Originally posted to Facebook on July 1, 2015 at 4:33 PM)

… which Jessie had not seen it before. It is indeed an outstanding work … but still not immune to my theory that any film can be improved by the addition of a monkey on roller skates. This also applies to plays. For example, I strongly feel (and believe that I can aptly demonstrate) that Samuel Beckett’s play “Waiting for Godot” can be immeasurably improved by replacing the entire cast with a single roller-skating monkey. (You hoity-toity literary types have unwarrantably scorned my theory for far too long. I look forward to proving you wrong someday.)

(Originally posted to Facebook on June 24, 2015 at 9:12 PM)

We also told poop jokes. Because tradition is important to us ….

(Originally posted to Facebook on June 21, 2015 at 3:11 PM)